"The Only Thing Constant is Change"
I'm not quite sure who said that, but this person was right on the money.
In life, when we find ourselves getting comfortable with a situation, whether it is with our job, with our family, in our relationship, life throws us a curveball that blows us right out of the water. I've had many of these this year and am now actually looking forward to the beginning of another challenging, rewarding, mind-boggling, tear-jerking year.
I should be talking about Christmas right .... well, that I'll do in another blog
More time, zeen.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Little Alice (Adapted)
Gotta give kudos to the author of this joke ... whoever he/she is!
Little Alice was in her 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer.
Alice was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked her about her father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go home with some guy And make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the Other children to work on some exercises and took little Alice aside to Ask her,
"Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Alice.
"He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
LMAO!
Little Alice was in her 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer.
Alice was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked her about her father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go home with some guy And make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the Other children to work on some exercises and took little Alice aside to Ask her,
"Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Alice.
"He works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
LMAO!
Monday, November 01, 2004
Work Day From Hell .... Grrrr
I'm having one of those days from hell at work. It's like everything is just going wrong, everyone is getting on my last nerve!!! Grrrrr .... I need a break!
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Where Life Begins
Here is Madonna dirrrrtty song #2. One would think that a song about bringing life into the world would be a bit more sober! Go Madonna!!!! You totally rock!
"Where Life Begins"
(Lyrics from AZLyrics.com)
Warm inside, yeah
I'd like to direct your attention
To something that needs directing to
A lot of people talk about
Dining in and eating out
I guess that's what this song's about
I know this is not a dining room conversation
And you don't have to listen if you don't have the time
But let me remind you in case you don't already know
Dining out can happen down below
[Bridge:]Everybody's talkin' 'bout
Wanting that and needing this
I'd just like to know
If you want to learn a different kind of kiss
[Chorus:]So won't you go down where it's warm inside
Go down where I cannot hide
Go down where all life begins
Go down that's where my love is
Now what could be better than a home cooked meal
How you want to eat it depends on how you feel
You can eat all you want and you don't get fat
Now where else can you go for a meal like that
It's not fair to be selfish or stingy
Every girl should experience eating out
Sometimes when I come home from a hard day at work
I swear it's all I can think about
Everybody's talking bout
Wanting that and needing this
I'd just like to know
If you want to to learn a different a different kind of kiss
So won't you go down where it's warm inside
Go Down where I cannot hide
Go Down where all life begins
Go Down, that's where my love is
Colonel Sanders says it best - "Finger lickin' good"
Let's put what you've learned to the test
Can you make a fire without using wood
Are you still hungry; aren't you glad we came
I'm glad you brought your raincoat
I think it's beginning to rain
That's where my love is
Come inside
That's where all life begins
It's warm inside
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Erotica!
Madonna has been known as one of the raunchiest pop acts of our time. She has been the centre of many controversial songs and music videos, also accused of "pushing the envelope" many a time in her prime. I absolutely love her. Her Erotica album, launched in 1990 bears two of my most favourite raunchy Erotic songs. How fitting is it that I have decided to pay homage to them here on my blog! Here is raunchy song #1.
"Erotica"
(Lyrics taken from AZ Lyrics.com)
Erotica, romance
My name is Dita
I'll be your mistress tonight
I'd like to put you in a trance
If I take you from behind
Push myself into your mind
When you least expect it
Will you try and reject it
If I'm in charge and I treat you like a child
Will you let yourself go wild
Let my mouth go where it wants to
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck
I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ... aaahhh
I'd like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body
Erotic, erotic
Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
There's a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain
I can see you understand
I can tell that you're the same
If you're afraid, well rise above
I only hurt the ones I love
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck
I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ... aaahhh
I'd like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body
Erotic, erotic
Erotica, romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
I don't think you know what pain is
I don't think you've gone that way
I could bring you so much pleasure
I'll come to you when you say
I know you want me
I'm not gonna hurt you
I'm not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes
Erotic, erotic [repeat several times]
Put your hands all over my body
All over me, all over me
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I like to do a different kind of
Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance
I'd like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better
Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away
Eroti - ca!!!
The Great Madonna Part I
All my closest friends know that Madonna is my favourite artiste of all time. I remember how my love for her began. Wanna hear the story???? No???? Well, guess what? This is my blog and you're gonna hear it so sit down, grab a cup of Java and enjoy!
I was 11 years old and in the 8th Grade (or what we call 2nd Form in Jamaica) in High School. We had a new music teacher aka Mr. B who thought that he needed to breathe life into the Music Class. For those who went to CMA would know that no one went to Music Class, sort of the bird course that you pass whether you go or not. Well, Mr. B decided to put an end to this charade. In his attept to do this, he introduced a Music Festival. What this entailed was each person in the class would choose a song to sing. He would then grade us based on our performance and all those who got a B or above would be in the finals of the Music Festival which would be an performance event in front of the entire school population who decided to attend. Yeah, major stuff!
I sang Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time" for my in class song and was given a grade of A-! Whoopee!!! This meant I would be one of the finalists! You can imagine my excitement! I now had the task of choosing a song to sing in the finals. I didn't want to sing the same song, as quite frankly I didn't think it gave me an opportunity to display my real singing talent. So, with this in mind, I selected my finalist song.
Are you ready for this ??
Take a sip of your coffee!!
I selected ...........................................
"Superwoman" by Karyn White
Having chosen this song, I had about 1 month before the competition to rehearse and work on my dynamics etc. in an effort to win the grand prize of a "Gift Voucher Valued at J$100". Don't scoff!!! That was a fortune to an 11 year old at that time!
The fateful day arrived. I watched as other contestants went up and sang their tunes. I heard no one who could match my talent. Up to more than 1/2 way in the competition, I still had not seen a display of talent that could outdo my well rehearsed rendition of "Superwoman". I did my performance and it went very well. I got a lot of cheers from the audience, boosting my confidence, helping me to perform so much better.
Then ............................... "Ms. Jade" took the stage. Miss Jade was your typical rich kid in high school. She was fair, had long hair and had all the makings of a performer.
She stood there with the mike in her hand, and she started snapping her fingers. As she started to sing a rendition of her chosen song, it was the most beautiful sound I had heard all day ... yeah, I actually thought that she was better than me!!! I watched in awe as I listened to this songstress. She has a beautiful singing voice and she looked so effortless in her performance, so natural, so cool, so calm, so collected. I thought, "this bitch can beat me!".
The performances continued and with all the other performances, I saw no one else that sounded even close to this girl and better than me. My friend at the time who had also made it to the finals and her performance was also good.
When all the performances were complete, my prediction was that Ms. Jade would be 1st, I would be 2nd and my friend would be 3rd. And I was right. Instead of winning the whopping J$100 gift certificate, I had to settle for 2nd prize of a $50 gift certificate. There were no hard feelings in my heart as I knew she deserved it. This was where my obsession with Madonna began.
So .... What song did she sing????? Click Here!
I was 11 years old and in the 8th Grade (or what we call 2nd Form in Jamaica) in High School. We had a new music teacher aka Mr. B who thought that he needed to breathe life into the Music Class. For those who went to CMA would know that no one went to Music Class, sort of the bird course that you pass whether you go or not. Well, Mr. B decided to put an end to this charade. In his attept to do this, he introduced a Music Festival. What this entailed was each person in the class would choose a song to sing. He would then grade us based on our performance and all those who got a B or above would be in the finals of the Music Festival which would be an performance event in front of the entire school population who decided to attend. Yeah, major stuff!
I sang Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time" for my in class song and was given a grade of A-! Whoopee!!! This meant I would be one of the finalists! You can imagine my excitement! I now had the task of choosing a song to sing in the finals. I didn't want to sing the same song, as quite frankly I didn't think it gave me an opportunity to display my real singing talent. So, with this in mind, I selected my finalist song.
Are you ready for this ??
Take a sip of your coffee!!
I selected ...........................................
"Superwoman" by Karyn White
Having chosen this song, I had about 1 month before the competition to rehearse and work on my dynamics etc. in an effort to win the grand prize of a "Gift Voucher Valued at J$100". Don't scoff!!! That was a fortune to an 11 year old at that time!
The fateful day arrived. I watched as other contestants went up and sang their tunes. I heard no one who could match my talent. Up to more than 1/2 way in the competition, I still had not seen a display of talent that could outdo my well rehearsed rendition of "Superwoman". I did my performance and it went very well. I got a lot of cheers from the audience, boosting my confidence, helping me to perform so much better.
Then ............................... "Ms. Jade" took the stage. Miss Jade was your typical rich kid in high school. She was fair, had long hair and had all the makings of a performer.
She stood there with the mike in her hand, and she started snapping her fingers. As she started to sing a rendition of her chosen song, it was the most beautiful sound I had heard all day ... yeah, I actually thought that she was better than me!!! I watched in awe as I listened to this songstress. She has a beautiful singing voice and she looked so effortless in her performance, so natural, so cool, so calm, so collected. I thought, "this bitch can beat me!".
The performances continued and with all the other performances, I saw no one else that sounded even close to this girl and better than me. My friend at the time who had also made it to the finals and her performance was also good.
When all the performances were complete, my prediction was that Ms. Jade would be 1st, I would be 2nd and my friend would be 3rd. And I was right. Instead of winning the whopping J$100 gift certificate, I had to settle for 2nd prize of a $50 gift certificate. There were no hard feelings in my heart as I knew she deserved it. This was where my obsession with Madonna began.
So .... What song did she sing????? Click Here!
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Stalker Boy!
When I was younger, I met this guy... we'll call Jason, now known as "Stalker Boy-SB" to me and "Psychotic" to my friends who know this story, when I was 17. Needless to say that we met online so that should have been a sign that this would end in disaster. Anyhow, we met online, talked a couple of times, eventually exchanged phone numbers. I remember our first encounter ...:
Ring Ring Ring
CD: Hello
SB: ....................... (breathing)
CD: Hello???? ............. Hello????
SB: click!
WTF???
CD: *69 ... "We're sorry, this number cannot be given out. To call this #, press 1"
I press 1. Phone rings ... some nerd voice (NV) answers the phone.
NV: Hello?
CD: Hi, did someone just call xxx-xxxx from there?
NV: Oh ... yeah ... (giggling) ... my friend Jason, he's a bit shy.
CD: There's nothing for him to be shy about ... put him on the phone.
* This should have been an indication to me that I shouldn't waste my time. Ah well, you live you learn
SB: Ahm, hello?
CD: Hi. Why did you hang up?
SB: Nothing really.
CD: OK
SB: You sound nice
CD: Thanks. (blushing like an idiot) So do you.
This was only the beginning. After that, this guy called me all the time. Like 10 times a day every day. Bear in mind that we had never met face to face. All this talking online and on the phone. I remember this guy went to NYC to his father for a week and he called me every day from New York. Gosh! You can just imagine how special I felt.
The day we laid eyes on each other was a trip. He lived near to the University I attended so we planned that I would stop by one afternoon when I had a break at school. We spoke about nothing else for about a week. Finally the fateful day arrived. Girls can relate to this ... making sure you're not having a bad hair day, wear your cutest/sexiest outfit in an attempt to make a good impression. Yeah, I went through all of that, and was nervous as hell. All I told him was what kind of car I would be driving so he would know when I arrived.
At the appointed time, I drove to the place he had directed me to. Yeah, really brave of me since I could be driving into a trap. Me, being the ever-trusting person (then), I went. I drove past the house two (2) times before I finally stopped at the gate. When I stopped, I was now totally nervous about getting up and knocking on the gate. Luckily for me, I saw someone come outside so I wind down the window ... thinking it was him.
"Hi," I said. "Is Jason inside?"
Of course, I'm expecting him to say it's me. Thank God he didn't! This guy, his friend looked like a total geek!
"Yeah, he is. Who should I tell him?"
"Tell him Latoya".
He goes back inside and I'm waiting for like 3 minutes. Finally, I see this guy come out, tall (I don't like tall guys really), dark, not so bad looking.
"Hi there", he says, trying to sound all cool, suave, smooth.... It worked.
"Hi"
Don't remember what we talked about for the rest of the time, but I remember him saying he was glad to finally meet me. I didn't ask him what he thought of what he saw and he didn't ask me that either. We saved that for the telephone conversation later that evening. He liked ... he really really liked.
Anyway, we ended up in a relationship that turned out to be one of the biggest disasters of my life. We had an argument and I thought that was the end of it. Somewhat glad, but at the same time, sad because I kinda had liked this guy. I spent two (2) weeks with my girlfriend since we had exams and she needed some help studying. So, I didn't speak for him during that time. It turned out that he didn't want to break up with me and we decided to give it another chance, this after about 2 months of me avoiding him and playing hard to get.
This reconciliation was also very short lived. It lasted for about 5 months when I just had feeling that something just wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it.
The revelation came one night at about 12:00. My phone rang. I answer, and like there is some bitch on the other line asking me who the hell I am and what is my relationship with Jason.
I was like,"no this bitch didn't just call my house at this ungodly hour to ask me about this guy".
I said, "Who the fuck are you and what is it to you?"
She just wants to know. I said, "That is none of your business and if you really want to know, why don't you ask him. Don't call my house again you bitch". I hung up.
Immediately after I hang up, I call him to ask me who this hooch is that is calling my home and harassing me. He sounded like a chicken without a head. He didn't know exactly what to say to me. All he could come up with is "Uh, I don't know what just happened a while ago but I'll call you back".
"Don't bother calling me back. This shit is over. Good bye".
And that I thought was the end of that. This happened in January 1999.
Now, one would think that 5 years later, a guy would have gotten over this right?
Wrong!!!
This guy has been trying to get back with me every time we speak. He calls to wish me happy birthday, merry christmas, all that shit, like he thinks that is going to move me. The other day I was going through my sentiment box and found an email I had sent to him after the episode with the bitch telling him that our relationship was over, how much of a child he was (he was younger than me), him not being ready for a mature relationship or for a real woman like me. What is even more interesting is that he admits that he was childish and immature but he is trying to convince me now that he has changed, matured and is now ready to give me the type of relationship I deserved back then. He wants me to have his children ... Is he for real???? I mean, this guy even thinks that any man that I'm involved with would have to take a back seat whenever he comes around. I had to prove him wrong in the worst way a girl could do to a guy ... that is for another blog. Don't know what he was thinking ... but he has done everything - come to my house, come to my office, drive me down on the road, I mean ... Is he psychotic or what????
He hasn't called me in a while. I hope it will remain that way.
Ring Ring Ring
CD: Hello
SB: ....................... (breathing)
CD: Hello???? ............. Hello????
SB: click!
WTF???
CD: *69 ... "We're sorry, this number cannot be given out. To call this #, press 1"
I press 1. Phone rings ... some nerd voice (NV) answers the phone.
NV: Hello?
CD: Hi, did someone just call xxx-xxxx from there?
NV: Oh ... yeah ... (giggling) ... my friend Jason, he's a bit shy.
CD: There's nothing for him to be shy about ... put him on the phone.
* This should have been an indication to me that I shouldn't waste my time. Ah well, you live you learn
SB: Ahm, hello?
CD: Hi. Why did you hang up?
SB: Nothing really.
CD: OK
SB: You sound nice
CD: Thanks. (blushing like an idiot) So do you.
This was only the beginning. After that, this guy called me all the time. Like 10 times a day every day. Bear in mind that we had never met face to face. All this talking online and on the phone. I remember this guy went to NYC to his father for a week and he called me every day from New York. Gosh! You can just imagine how special I felt.
The day we laid eyes on each other was a trip. He lived near to the University I attended so we planned that I would stop by one afternoon when I had a break at school. We spoke about nothing else for about a week. Finally the fateful day arrived. Girls can relate to this ... making sure you're not having a bad hair day, wear your cutest/sexiest outfit in an attempt to make a good impression. Yeah, I went through all of that, and was nervous as hell. All I told him was what kind of car I would be driving so he would know when I arrived.
At the appointed time, I drove to the place he had directed me to. Yeah, really brave of me since I could be driving into a trap. Me, being the ever-trusting person (then), I went. I drove past the house two (2) times before I finally stopped at the gate. When I stopped, I was now totally nervous about getting up and knocking on the gate. Luckily for me, I saw someone come outside so I wind down the window ... thinking it was him.
"Hi," I said. "Is Jason inside?"
Of course, I'm expecting him to say it's me. Thank God he didn't! This guy, his friend looked like a total geek!
"Yeah, he is. Who should I tell him?"
"Tell him Latoya".
He goes back inside and I'm waiting for like 3 minutes. Finally, I see this guy come out, tall (I don't like tall guys really), dark, not so bad looking.
"Hi there", he says, trying to sound all cool, suave, smooth.... It worked.
"Hi"
Don't remember what we talked about for the rest of the time, but I remember him saying he was glad to finally meet me. I didn't ask him what he thought of what he saw and he didn't ask me that either. We saved that for the telephone conversation later that evening. He liked ... he really really liked.
Anyway, we ended up in a relationship that turned out to be one of the biggest disasters of my life. We had an argument and I thought that was the end of it. Somewhat glad, but at the same time, sad because I kinda had liked this guy. I spent two (2) weeks with my girlfriend since we had exams and she needed some help studying. So, I didn't speak for him during that time. It turned out that he didn't want to break up with me and we decided to give it another chance, this after about 2 months of me avoiding him and playing hard to get.
This reconciliation was also very short lived. It lasted for about 5 months when I just had feeling that something just wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it.
The revelation came one night at about 12:00. My phone rang. I answer, and like there is some bitch on the other line asking me who the hell I am and what is my relationship with Jason.
I was like,"no this bitch didn't just call my house at this ungodly hour to ask me about this guy".
I said, "Who the fuck are you and what is it to you?"
She just wants to know. I said, "That is none of your business and if you really want to know, why don't you ask him. Don't call my house again you bitch". I hung up.
Immediately after I hang up, I call him to ask me who this hooch is that is calling my home and harassing me. He sounded like a chicken without a head. He didn't know exactly what to say to me. All he could come up with is "Uh, I don't know what just happened a while ago but I'll call you back".
"Don't bother calling me back. This shit is over. Good bye".
And that I thought was the end of that. This happened in January 1999.
Now, one would think that 5 years later, a guy would have gotten over this right?
Wrong!!!
This guy has been trying to get back with me every time we speak. He calls to wish me happy birthday, merry christmas, all that shit, like he thinks that is going to move me. The other day I was going through my sentiment box and found an email I had sent to him after the episode with the bitch telling him that our relationship was over, how much of a child he was (he was younger than me), him not being ready for a mature relationship or for a real woman like me. What is even more interesting is that he admits that he was childish and immature but he is trying to convince me now that he has changed, matured and is now ready to give me the type of relationship I deserved back then. He wants me to have his children ... Is he for real???? I mean, this guy even thinks that any man that I'm involved with would have to take a back seat whenever he comes around. I had to prove him wrong in the worst way a girl could do to a guy ... that is for another blog. Don't know what he was thinking ... but he has done everything - come to my house, come to my office, drive me down on the road, I mean ... Is he psychotic or what????
He hasn't called me in a while. I hope it will remain that way.
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