My ever desperate desire to be different has inspired the title of this post ... OYIF -- "Oh Yeah, It's Friday!!!" Today is the official last day of my vacation and I return to work on Monday ... ugh! So, since I have nothing real to post about today, here is a smiley for you. It's an oldie but goodie so enjoy.
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
"HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW."
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
"FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO".
FINE,
THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
"WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
"FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO".
FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.
"I'M NOT A DAMM CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS".
HE SAYS, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!"
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS....................................
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
"HONEY", HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE".
THE HUSBAND SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?"
SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO....DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!"
Have a great Friday everyone!!!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Even Naughtier Wednesday
Someone sent me this picture yesterday. Quite an ingenuitive design for a motor cycle which I'm sure men absolutely enjoy riding. I wonder how much these go for?? 
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Naughty Tuesday
GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Stress Buster
A Happy Monday Morning to you all! In an effort to cure those Monday morning blues (I'll be needing this next week when I go back to work ... ugh), here is a little stress buster to put a grin on your face.
Poke The Penguin
Be sure to poke him 3 times!!
C Ya!
Poke The Penguin
Be sure to poke him 3 times!!
C Ya!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Hostel
I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the movie, Hostel. Quentin Tarantino is known for his out of the ordinary style of movie direction and I just love him as a director. Don't give him much props as an actor, but he shines most when he is behind the cameral. Quentin has done exceptional movies such as Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill 1 & 2 and Sin City. He is one of those directors you think, "if I'm ever doing a movie, I want him to direct it". John Woo is another, having directed Face Off (one of my all time favourite movies) and M-I2. I also appreciate the work of David Fincher, director of Seven (another of my all time favourite movies) and several Madonna productions.
With the underground DVD market booming, I will do my utmost to get it before it reaches theatres here ... hope no cops are reading.
Peace out.
With the underground DVD market booming, I will do my utmost to get it before it reaches theatres here ... hope no cops are reading.
Peace out.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
MR2 vs Evolution IV
On New Year's Day, after leaving home for the sole purpose of going to buy Nestle Bon Bons at the Ice Cream Store, the BF and I end up going to Ocho Rios to watch street car racing at Orange Park. I had a blast. It was so much fun. First of all, when we got to the round about to take us to the "race track", there were 3 police jeeps neatly parked up at the corner stopping almost every car with a loud muffler on it for a spot check. Seeing this, we took a slight detour only to see other racing hungry homosapiens all parked up talking about how much of a "p***yhole di policeman dem is fi a mash up the little racing ting". After small talk and minor socializing with these unknown people, we decided to head back home and enjoy the fact that we had a really nice drive coming to Ocho Rios.
Alas! When we turn back ... no police men at the round about. Soon after, we were heading up to the "track". Upon reaching there, there were quite a few cars parked up along the side of the road waiting anxiously for the racing to begin. There were also the same 3 police jeeps scattered among the parked cars. OK ... so I'm thinking these "a-holes" want some $$$$ so we can do as we please on the public street. Well, they didn't come anywhere near our direction so I'm not sure what was happening. Shortly after that, they left and engines started revving, cars started doing 180 turns in the road ... Yes ... the party is about to start!
Needless to say, we waited about 1 hr 45 mins before the first race started. During this time though, some of the guys were "warming up", speeding their turbo-charged, DOHC V-Tech encines up and down the track I guess baiting up the other racers.
Long and short of the story is that the MR2 stole the show. It won almost every race it ran in beating out Sunny GTS Turbo Charged, the Evo IV, V-Tech Civics and Integras. Don't know what that guy had under the hood but it was moving like a bitch! The Evo IV was a big disappointment being beat by lowly Nissans and Hondas. The funny thing was this group of guys standing close to us chanting "Honda" ... which sounded more like "Huuunnnnndaaaaaa". It was hilarious!
My BF and crew were teasing me about lining up my car ... but I asked them if they wanted to embarrass me in front of all these people. I also learnt that losers at an event like this, albeit informal, caused several malices between various drivers, whose sole purpose after losing was to do more modifications to their engine to ensure victory at the next street race. Men!
All in all it was good fun though. I thoroughly enjoyed!
Alas! When we turn back ... no police men at the round about. Soon after, we were heading up to the "track". Upon reaching there, there were quite a few cars parked up along the side of the road waiting anxiously for the racing to begin. There were also the same 3 police jeeps scattered among the parked cars. OK ... so I'm thinking these "a-holes" want some $$$$ so we can do as we please on the public street. Well, they didn't come anywhere near our direction so I'm not sure what was happening. Shortly after that, they left and engines started revving, cars started doing 180 turns in the road ... Yes ... the party is about to start!
Needless to say, we waited about 1 hr 45 mins before the first race started. During this time though, some of the guys were "warming up", speeding their turbo-charged, DOHC V-Tech encines up and down the track I guess baiting up the other racers.
Long and short of the story is that the MR2 stole the show. It won almost every race it ran in beating out Sunny GTS Turbo Charged, the Evo IV, V-Tech Civics and Integras. Don't know what that guy had under the hood but it was moving like a bitch! The Evo IV was a big disappointment being beat by lowly Nissans and Hondas. The funny thing was this group of guys standing close to us chanting "Honda" ... which sounded more like "Huuunnnnndaaaaaa". It was hilarious!
My BF and crew were teasing me about lining up my car ... but I asked them if they wanted to embarrass me in front of all these people. I also learnt that losers at an event like this, albeit informal, caused several malices between various drivers, whose sole purpose after losing was to do more modifications to their engine to ensure victory at the next street race. Men!
All in all it was good fun though. I thoroughly enjoyed!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Full Control
On New Year's Eve Eve, I'm driving along happily in my car listening to some tunes on the radio on my favourite station, the Blazing Fame 95 FM. On my speakers I hear the familiar voice of Shaggy and the veteran Barrington Levy. The song of choice: "Full Control". I'm rocking to the song, listening to the smoothness of the beat and the truthfullness of the words, all along under the impression that this song was on Shaggy's new album ... only to be completely shocked to come home today, search on the net for the song and realize that this song is on Shaggy's 2002 Album, Lucky Day.
The song speaks about independent women who are in full control of their lives, confident, knows how to handle herself, take care of herself, doesn't jump at every man who offers her something, but much prefers to be assured and have her heart secured. I'm sure we can all attest to a man who expresses an interest in you and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is I drive a ...., I live in some popular neighbourhood, I'm a top executive at a company, I have $$$ in the bank, blah blah blah, going on and on about what they have and nothing about who they are.
The other day too, while driving to Kingston, I for some reason was listening to Disclosure with Kingsley "Ragashanti" Stewart on Hot 102 where he was speaking of an article in the Flair magazine in the Monday Gleaner, which spoke about men selling sex to women. He expounded on the article and extended the concept to the wider society of men who are now seeking to get with a woman who is financially stable, successfull, achieved by society's standards and basically just give her as much sex as she wants/needs while she takes care of him ... or as we say in Jamaica, "mine him". With more and more women becoming independent, there are 3 types of men:
1. The one that will be supportive, and want to stand beside you as you both make your way up the ladder in life
2. The ones who will bad mind you, say you slept with some man to get your house, car, job, call you a ho
3. Those who just want to take advantage of the situation and get as much as they can from you.
It is so interesting to think about these things and see how the world operates and changes overtime. All I can say is ladies, keep being independent and strong and strive to find a man who falls in Category 1 above. And men, have enough strength and pride in yourself to be a man in category 1 above.
The song speaks about independent women who are in full control of their lives, confident, knows how to handle herself, take care of herself, doesn't jump at every man who offers her something, but much prefers to be assured and have her heart secured. I'm sure we can all attest to a man who expresses an interest in you and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is I drive a ...., I live in some popular neighbourhood, I'm a top executive at a company, I have $$$ in the bank, blah blah blah, going on and on about what they have and nothing about who they are.
The other day too, while driving to Kingston, I for some reason was listening to Disclosure with Kingsley "Ragashanti" Stewart on Hot 102 where he was speaking of an article in the Flair magazine in the Monday Gleaner, which spoke about men selling sex to women. He expounded on the article and extended the concept to the wider society of men who are now seeking to get with a woman who is financially stable, successfull, achieved by society's standards and basically just give her as much sex as she wants/needs while she takes care of him ... or as we say in Jamaica, "mine him". With more and more women becoming independent, there are 3 types of men:
1. The one that will be supportive, and want to stand beside you as you both make your way up the ladder in life
2. The ones who will bad mind you, say you slept with some man to get your house, car, job, call you a ho
3. Those who just want to take advantage of the situation and get as much as they can from you.
It is so interesting to think about these things and see how the world operates and changes overtime. All I can say is ladies, keep being independent and strong and strive to find a man who falls in Category 1 above. And men, have enough strength and pride in yourself to be a man in category 1 above.
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