You Can't Tell By Looking

Today, I had a revelation about someone and a situation I thought I understood so well.  It was actually my cousin, who died a little over 2 years ago from Cancer.  Having visited her close to her last days, she was living with her husband who upon our visit, waited on her hand and foot, taking care of her every need and being a wonderful husband, standing by her side.

Well, my eyes were opened today when I heard that this husband of hers deserves to be in Hollywood as he gives Oscar Award-winning performances.  It is as serious as him trying to kill her.  I was in complete shock.  I couldn't believe that everything I was hearing was about the same person.  There was also some stuff about my cousin that I couldn't believe either and from hearing both sides, I would say they were almost perfect for each other.

There's so much more to the never-ending story that is their marriage.  But, from what was said, I said to myself:  It is amazing how things look so wonderful from the outside.  You see a couple in a restaurant or walking on the street and they appear to be so much in love, so happy with each other and you say, man, I wish I could have that with my man.  Or, you see this really handsome man on the street who looks like he should be on the cover of GQ magazine, and you say "Damn, he is fiiiiinnnneee!".

Then reality hits you.  You find out that the couple who looked oh so happy in public are having serious problems in their marriage or relationship, whether it be abuse related or otherwise.  And, that handsome man that looks like you would take a bite and a lick off him right there on the street, has HIV or something ... You just can't tell by looking.  How many times have we heard "Don't judge a book by its cover"?  So many times from parents, friends and family.

Something else was also said today about marrying someone who is "beneath you".  It seems unfair that love should now be dictated by what another person can bring to your life, whether financially or otherwise.  What ever happened to just old fashioned love and companionship?  Do people even get married for these reasons anymore?

Sad, really sad.