Where Life Begins

Here is Madonna dirrrrtty song #2. One would think that a song about bringing life into the world would be a bit more sober! Go Madonna!!!! You totally rock!

"Where Life Begins"

(Lyrics from AZLyrics.com)

Warm inside, yeah

I'd like to direct your attention

To something that needs directing to

A lot of people talk about

Dining in and eating out

I guess that's what this song's about

I know this is not a dining room conversation

And you don't have to listen if you don't have the time

But let me remind you in case you don't already know

Dining out can happen down below

[Bridge:]Everybody's talkin' 'bout

Wanting that and needing this

I'd just like to know

If you want to learn a different kind of kiss

[Chorus:]So won't you go down where it's warm inside

Go down where I cannot hide

Go down where all life begins

Go down that's where my love is

Now what could be better than a home cooked meal

How you want to eat it depends on how you feel

You can eat all you want and you don't get fat

Now where else can you go for a meal like that

It's not fair to be selfish or stingy

Every girl should experience eating out

Sometimes when I come home from a hard day at work

I swear it's all I can think about

Everybody's talking bout

Wanting that and needing this

I'd just like to know

If you want to to learn a different a different kind of kiss

So won't you go down where it's warm inside

Go Down where I cannot hide

Go Down where all life begins

Go Down, that's where my love is

Colonel Sanders says it best - "Finger lickin' good"

Let's put what you've learned to the test

Can you make a fire without using wood

Are you still hungry; aren't you glad we came

I'm glad you brought your raincoat

I think it's beginning to rain

That's where my love is

Come inside

That's where all life begins

It's warm inside

Erotica!

Madonna has been known as one of the raunchiest pop acts of our time. She has been the centre of many controversial songs and music videos, also accused of "pushing the envelope" many a time in her prime. I absolutely love her. Her Erotica album, launched in 1990 bears two of my most favourite raunchy Erotic songs. How fitting is it that I have decided to pay homage to them here on my blog! Here is raunchy song #1.

"Erotica"

(Lyrics taken from AZ Lyrics.com)

Erotica, romance

My name is Dita

I'll be your mistress tonight

I'd like to put you in a trance

If I take you from behind

Push myself into your mind

When you least expect it

Will you try and reject it

If I'm in charge and I treat you like a child

Will you let yourself go wild

Let my mouth go where it wants to

Give it up, do as I say

Give it up and let me have my way

I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck

I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ... aaahhh

I'd like to put you in a trance, all over

Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body

Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body

Erotic, erotic

Once you put your hand in the flame

You can never be the same

There's a certain satisfaction

In a little bit of pain

I can see you understand

I can tell that you're the same

If you're afraid, well rise above

I only hurt the ones I love

Give it up, do as I say

Give it up and let me have my way

I'll give you love, I'll hit you like a truck

I'll give you love, I'll teach you how to ... aaahhh

I'd like to put you in a trance, all over

Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body

Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body

Erotic, erotic

Erotica, romance

I'd like to put you in a trance

Erotica, romance

Put your hands all over my body

I don't think you know what pain is

I don't think you've gone that way

I could bring you so much pleasure

I'll come to you when you say

I know you want me

I'm not gonna hurt you

I'm not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes

Erotic, erotic [repeat several times]

Put your hands all over my body

All over me, all over me

Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance

I'd like to put you in a trance

Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance

I like to do a different kind of

Erotica, (give it up, give it up) romance

I'd like to put you in a trance

Erotica, romance

Put your hands all over my body

Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better

Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away

Eroti - ca!!!

The Great Madonna Part I

All my closest friends know that Madonna is my favourite artiste of all time. I remember how my love for her began. Wanna hear the story???? No???? Well, guess what? This is my blog and you're gonna hear it so sit down, grab a cup of Java and enjoy!

I was 11 years old and in the 8th Grade (or what we call 2nd Form in Jamaica) in High School. We had a new music teacher aka Mr. B who thought that he needed to breathe life into the Music Class. For those who went to CMA would know that no one went to Music Class, sort of the bird course that you pass whether you go or not. Well, Mr. B decided to put an end to this charade. In his attept to do this, he introduced a Music Festival. What this entailed was each person in the class would choose a song to sing. He would then grade us based on our performance and all those who got a B or above would be in the finals of the Music Festival which would be an performance event in front of the entire school population who decided to attend. Yeah, major stuff!

I sang Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time" for my in class song and was given a grade of A-! Whoopee!!! This meant I would be one of the finalists! You can imagine my excitement! I now had the task of choosing a song to sing in the finals. I didn't want to sing the same song, as quite frankly I didn't think it gave me an opportunity to display my real singing talent. So, with this in mind, I selected my finalist song.

Are you ready for this ??

Take a sip of your coffee!!

I selected ...........................................

"Superwoman" by Karyn White

Having chosen this song, I had about 1 month before the competition to rehearse and work on my dynamics etc. in an effort to win the grand prize of a "Gift Voucher Valued at J$100". Don't scoff!!! That was a fortune to an 11 year old at that time!

The fateful day arrived. I watched as other contestants went up and sang their tunes. I heard no one who could match my talent. Up to more than 1/2 way in the competition, I still had not seen a display of talent that could outdo my well rehearsed rendition of "Superwoman". I did my performance and it went very well. I got a lot of cheers from the audience, boosting my confidence, helping me to perform so much better.

Then ............................... "Ms. Jade" took the stage. Miss Jade was your typical rich kid in high school. She was fair, had long hair and had all the makings of a performer.

She stood there with the mike in her hand, and she started snapping her fingers. As she started to sing a rendition of her chosen song, it was the most beautiful sound I had heard all day ... yeah, I actually thought that she was better than me!!! I watched in awe as I listened to this songstress. She has a beautiful singing voice and she looked so effortless in her performance, so natural, so cool, so calm, so collected. I thought, "this bitch can beat me!".

The performances continued and with all the other performances, I saw no one else that sounded even close to this girl and better than me. My friend at the time who had also made it to the finals and her performance was also good.

When all the performances were complete, my prediction was that Ms. Jade would be 1st, I would be 2nd and my friend would be 3rd. And I was right. Instead of winning the whopping J$100 gift certificate, I had to settle for 2nd prize of a $50 gift certificate. There were no hard feelings in my heart as I knew she deserved it. This was where my obsession with Madonna began.

So .... What song did she sing????? Click Here!

Stalker Boy!

When I was younger, I met this guy... we'll call Jason, now known as "Stalker Boy-SB" to me and "Psychotic" to my friends who know this story, when I was 17. Needless to say that we met online so that should have been a sign that this would end in disaster. Anyhow, we met online, talked a couple of times, eventually exchanged phone numbers. I remember our first encounter ...:

Ring Ring Ring

CD: Hello
SB: ....................... (breathing)
CD: Hello???? ............. Hello????
SB: click!

WTF???

CD: *69 ... "We're sorry, this number cannot be given out. To call this #, press 1"

I press 1. Phone rings ... some nerd voice (NV) answers the phone.

NV: Hello?
CD: Hi, did someone just call xxx-xxxx from there?
NV: Oh ... yeah ... (giggling) ... my friend Jason, he's a bit shy.
CD: There's nothing for him to be shy about ... put him on the phone.

* This should have been an indication to me that I shouldn't waste my time. Ah well, you live you learn

SB: Ahm, hello?
CD: Hi. Why did you hang up?
SB: Nothing really.
CD: OK
SB: You sound nice
CD: Thanks. (blushing like an idiot) So do you.

This was only the beginning. After that, this guy called me all the time. Like 10 times a day every day. Bear in mind that we had never met face to face. All this talking online and on the phone. I remember this guy went to NYC to his father for a week and he called me every day from New York. Gosh! You can just imagine how special I felt.

The day we laid eyes on each other was a trip. He lived near to the University I attended so we planned that I would stop by one afternoon when I had a break at school. We spoke about nothing else for about a week. Finally the fateful day arrived. Girls can relate to this ... making sure you're not having a bad hair day, wear your cutest/sexiest outfit in an attempt to make a good impression. Yeah, I went through all of that, and was nervous as hell. All I told him was what kind of car I would be driving so he would know when I arrived.

At the appointed time, I drove to the place he had directed me to. Yeah, really brave of me since I could be driving into a trap. Me, being the ever-trusting person (then), I went. I drove past the house two (2) times before I finally stopped at the gate. When I stopped, I was now totally nervous about getting up and knocking on the gate. Luckily for me, I saw someone come outside so I wind down the window ... thinking it was him.

"Hi," I said. "Is Jason inside?"

Of course, I'm expecting him to say it's me. Thank God he didn't! This guy, his friend looked like a total geek!

"Yeah, he is. Who should I tell him?"

"Tell him Latoya".

He goes back inside and I'm waiting for like 3 minutes. Finally, I see this guy come out, tall (I don't like tall guys really), dark, not so bad looking.

"Hi there", he says, trying to sound all cool, suave, smooth.... It worked.

"Hi"

Don't remember what we talked about for the rest of the time, but I remember him saying he was glad to finally meet me. I didn't ask him what he thought of what he saw and he didn't ask me that either. We saved that for the telephone conversation later that evening. He liked ... he really really liked.

Anyway, we ended up in a relationship that turned out to be one of the biggest disasters of my life. We had an argument and I thought that was the end of it. Somewhat glad, but at the same time, sad because I kinda had liked this guy. I spent two (2) weeks with my girlfriend since we had exams and she needed some help studying. So, I didn't speak for him during that time. It turned out that he didn't want to break up with me and we decided to give it another chance, this after about 2 months of me avoiding him and playing hard to get.

This reconciliation was also very short lived. It lasted for about 5 months when I just had feeling that something just wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it.

The revelation came one night at about 12:00. My phone rang. I answer, and like there is some bitch on the other line asking me who the hell I am and what is my relationship with Jason.

I was like,"no this bitch didn't just call my house at this ungodly hour to ask me about this guy".

I said, "Who the fuck are you and what is it to you?"

She just wants to know. I said, "That is none of your business and if you really want to know, why don't you ask him. Don't call my house again you bitch". I hung up.

Immediately after I hang up, I call him to ask me who this hooch is that is calling my home and harassing me. He sounded like a chicken without a head. He didn't know exactly what to say to me. All he could come up with is "Uh, I don't know what just happened a while ago but I'll call you back".

"Don't bother calling me back. This shit is over. Good bye".

And that I thought was the end of that. This happened in January 1999.

Now, one would think that 5 years later, a guy would have gotten over this right?

Wrong!!!

This guy has been trying to get back with me every time we speak. He calls to wish me happy birthday, merry christmas, all that shit, like he thinks that is going to move me. The other day I was going through my sentiment box and found an email I had sent to him after the episode with the bitch telling him that our relationship was over, how much of a child he was (he was younger than me), him not being ready for a mature relationship or for a real woman like me. What is even more interesting is that he admits that he was childish and immature but he is trying to convince me now that he has changed, matured and is now ready to give me the type of relationship I deserved back then. He wants me to have his children ... Is he for real???? I mean, this guy even thinks that any man that I'm involved with would have to take a back seat whenever he comes around. I had to prove him wrong in the worst way a girl could do to a guy ... that is for another blog. Don't know what he was thinking ... but he has done everything - come to my house, come to my office, drive me down on the road, I mean ... Is he psychotic or what????

He hasn't called me in a while. I hope it will remain that way.

Making Love VS Fucking

This is a follow up to my post "Do People Make Love Anymore?".

I think my point may have been missed by some readers so, as a woman and hate being mizundastood, I feel it necessary to say this. Don't worry, it won't be long.

The emphasis I placed on Making Love is in no way to suggest that fucking is a bad thing. Making Love suggests tenderness and this is good. Fucking on the other hand can give a person (even a love sick puppy like myself) a wonderful feeling of passion and desire. The thing is that when you are with someone that you love, there are no inhibitions, no limits to the things that you can do (as long as you are willing). If you want to make love, with the light kisses and the soft caresses, then there's nothing wrong with that. If you want to fuck like the animals do on the Discovery Channel, humping, raw, unadulterated porn movie in your own bedroom, then that's all good too! The point I was trying to make was not in relation to the act itself, but rather the feeling and emotion behind it. That makes a world of difference in the way it is done.

I think I may need to stop talking about this love thing. I may be revealing a little bit too much of myself than I'm willing to handle right now. I'm not as bold as others just yet ... but who knows, I may just get there!

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I'm supposed to be going away to work for three (3) weeks. This means being away from home in a strange place (I've never been to BVI), with no one I know! That's scary when you really think about it. This is not the first time I've been asked to travel on behalf of my company. I've done this many, many times. Ever since I've been in my current relationship and these times pop up, it is always a very difficult time for me. Call me "wussy", "coward" or whatever. I hate being away from my man. It is absolute torture for me to be all the way wherever I am, and he's here. Not being able to call whenever I want, not seeing him, hearing him, not arguing, not being mushy, not making love or "fucking" ... [Serendipity ... that was for you :)], not doing stuff together. EVERYTHING ABOUT US BEING APART JUST SUCKS!!!

The trip has been delayed and I'm hoping it will be permanent although, I don't think so.

Gosh ... love is a wonderful feeling!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly .... Cute, really cute

Good, Bad and Ugly

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It’s triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She is a Lawyer.

3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You’re in them.

5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

7. Good: You give the! “birds and bees” talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

8. Good: The postman’s early.
Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It’s another man.
Ugly: He’s your best friend.

10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!!

Am I Evil???

I am 39% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Do People Make Love Anymore?

The act of love making is supposed to be the one of the most beautiful physical experiences anyone will ever go through in their lifetime. I am one of those people who believe that this was something that was meant to be for the institution of marriage based on the depth of what the act means and represents. While I did not wait on the consecration of Marriage, if I could live my life over, I would certainly have waited until now to give myself entirely. There is nothing more exhilirating that giving yourself completely to someone you love and who loves you in return. The overflow of emotion and love that is felt when this happens is a feeling of total bliss and happiness. The connection felt between two persons in love when expressing affection in this way is absolutely wonderful.

Society today for the most part no longer places the level of importance and regard for the act of love making as it is now so common place and lost its real value. By this, I mean that everyone is making love ... no, correction ... fucking with everyone else without any feeling, any thought, any consideration of what it really means. This ain't cool at all. Do I believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time? Yes, I certainly do. Is it possible to love each person in the same way with the same magnitude? I don't.

When you truly love a person, you want to share that connection in every possible way, in any capacity. One of the ways is to make passionate love. Love that encompasses warmth, electrifying touches, soft light kisses, hard ones if the mood allows. With love, there should be no reservations, no inhibitions when making love to the person who undoubtedly has your heart. The plethoria of the emotion of love is so powerful that is can overcome almost any negative an individual may face. The level of trust will be present and one would not be shy to experiment in whatever activities that make you get off on a high that cannot be compared to anything else you have ever experienced.

I am a lover. I enjoy making love to my lover every time, all the time. It takes me on a toxic high that leaves me feeling so intoxicated that I can't see straight sometimes. It is such a wonderful feeling. My days of fucking are over. I only make love now and I am enjoying it more than anything sexual I have ever experienced in my whole life.

Wonderful .... just "fucking" wonderful!! Do I sound Love Sick???

LOST!!!

I JUST WROTE A WONDERFULLY EXCITING POEM, MY LAPTOP CRASHED AND IT IS NOW FUCKING LOST!!! I'M SO FUCKING PISSED!!!

Sexy Panties

There is somethin about a thong or any sexy panty for that matter that just turns men on. I once had a friend that told me that he looked forward to when I do laundry so that he can see my sexy thong underwear hanging on the line to dry. He didn't say it but I suspect he may have taken a sniff or 2 from them too :). He just loves a g-string panty!

I have another friend who absolutely prefers a full undie to a thong. He's a rare case but to each his own.

I personally started wearing approximately 3 years and 7 months ago. I guess that is when I found my sexuality ... no, my sexuality has been present since I was a young one. The way I feel in a thong is exhilirating. It makes me feel 10 times sexier than I already know I am (talk about confidence!) Everytime I go shopping for clothes of any sort, I always end up buying at least 5 g-strings. I tend to buy the more unusual looking under wear. The standard lace and silk just don't do it for me so much now. I've graduated from those now and have been expanding my horizon into beads, chains, leather, zips ... anything that outside the norm in underwear. I just love stuff with a difference. There's nothing sweeter than unveiling your pride and joy panty to your man and he just goes absolutely wild at how sexy it is. I absolutely love that!

Wish I knew where all this undie-talk came from ...

Love

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.They must be felt with the heart."

Love is a wonderful feeling.

Friends Pt. 1

Friends was one of the best sitcoms of all time. Definitely one of my favourites (next to Seinfeld). A lot of times, we compare our own life to those on the sitcoms. The rapport among the cast on friends was amazing. It was almost like they weren't acting ... if you know what I mean. It seemed so easy and effortless to them ... maybe because they became real friends, which leads me to the point of this blog.

Throughout my life, I have come across many different types of people. I can remember my very first best friend Kerry-Ann in prep school. We did everything together. We were star students, teacher's pets, all round envied kids because we were involved in everything and was good at it. I eventually left Prep School to attend the school where my mother teaches, but because Kerry Ann and I lived close to each other, we still remained friends. After we took common entrance, we both passed for different high schools ... and that was where the friendship ended.

During my extremely interesting time in high school, I came across many persons and formed some very bad friendships (in retrospect). When I got to 9th grade (3rd Form as we call it here), I met a girl [we'll call her ... Hickey :)] who became my best friend. This is the first friendship that has lasted since then ... and this was 1989. That is almost 20 years worth of friendship we're talking about. We also drifted apart for about 1 year and a half as sometimes happens in friendships when your life takes a different direction or you are in a self-exploration phase. Despite the distance we felt in this time, I always had her in my thoughts and prayers. At some point, I wondered if it was something I did why we were apart and wrestled with the thought of being responsible for our separation. Thankfully, that was not the case and we are still so much like peas and carrots now!

There was also this guy, who, I met around the same time as Hickey who turned out to be one of the bestest friends any girl could ask for. That's all I'll say about that.

During the time Hickey and I were "separated" I acquired two friends while in College, who, in the short space of time became an important part of my life.

Overtime, some of these relationships went sour and it saddened me because I tried so hard to be a good friend. Now, in the present day ... all of my friends have migrated! Yeah, its like I chased them all away! And, I have had some bad experiences with these friends of mine that I have almost resolved not to form any deep, new friendships because I don't want to get hurt again. It sounds crazy and the reality is even moreso because as we speak, a "little" friendship is developing between myself and a very cool co-worker of mine - Ms. Mumpel. She is very cool.

But, one thing is for sure. Friends play an important role in anyone's life. It would be so lonely not to have someone to talk to, cry on, laugh with, argue with, learn from, teach and just have outright fun with! Some friends are forever, and I thank God for the true friends in my life.

This blog is dedicated to all the friends I've come across and all the ones that have lasted until now. Y'All are very special to me! Thanks guys!!

A Mother's Love

There's something about a mother's love that cannot be compared to anything else in the world. I say this not because I have experienced this but because I've heard many people say it in my lifetime.

This distance always seemed to exist between myself and my mother. Ever since birth, I have always been closer to my father. I do remember pleasant memories of my childhood but for as far back as I can remember, since I was old enough, my mother and I have always been at logger heads. This I remember started when I was 10 years old and has continued to this day. I do believe that in her own way, she loves me. I'm not sure how or how much, but I gather that a mother's love for her child is incomparable to any love you could ever experience. Being an only child, I suppose that statement is even moreso.

I believe the distance is as a result of my mother not really getting to know who I am. Right now, if my mother was to buy a gift for me, she would get something that I would never buy for myself in a million years. My father ... could go away and shop for my clothes!

This whole relationshing rift between my mother and I came into sharp focus yesterday when she expressed concern for me. I was not sure how to react and so I didn't. I was somewhat angry for what she said to me and my mother has always been able to do that. However, it lead me to think of our relationship as a whole and wondered if I could have been the reason for the rift all along. I thought long and hard about it and came to a conclusion .... we were both responsible for it. Because of some of the things she did and the reactions she displayed to various situations, it caused me to clam up and keep things to myself. My father and I have the most wonderful relationship that amazes people whenever they see us together. They either think we are a couple or that we are brother and sister. No such thing with my mother.

A lot of occurences in my life has led me to think about this and I feel like she's reaching out to me right now. I've never really told her how I feel because I don't think she would take it very well. I don't want her to think that she has failed as a mother because ironically, I don't think she has failed at all. She did a good job of raising me, but in my eyes, my father contributed most to my development and raising me to the woman I am today. I am still trying to put all of this into perspective and hope that whatever I decide is the best thing to do.

Back In Time

It is amazing how various things can make your mind travel back in time to a place, long ago and far away. Hearing a song, smelling a perfume, some home cooking, anything from the past that can evoke an emotion - love, regret, anger, rage, disappointment, sadness. Whatever the emotion, one just has to be strong, face whatever it is head on and deal with it.