Unfaithful ...

The movie "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere and Diane Lane opened a lot of eyes to the truth and reality of infidelity in our modern day society. From the very beginning of time, it seems men and women just found it hard to keep their apples in one basket. In my conversations with a few members of the opposite sex, the explanations vary far and wide. Some of them are:

1. The need for men to "divide and conquer" ... i.e., the need to feel that they can pursue and get any female
2. God did not intend for man to have one partner ... (this one really got me!)
3. Man can't eat chicken every day. There needs to be variety in life
4. Not getting everything that is needed out of their current relationship
5. Damn greedy ... can't be satisfied
6. Material gain
7. Nothing better to do than play the field

I am sure I could continue this list but will not bore you with the semantics of it all.

Perhaps because I have never been in the situation, I cannot speak with authority on the subject. Also, it is always different to be looking in than to be in the situation yourself. It is always said that love is blind and walk a day in my shoes, you will feel differently.

I believe in committment and honesty and maintain the view that the need to be unfaithful stems from a lack of satisfaction in one's relationship.

Is it so hard for people to remain faithful? It seems to be the order of the day now to have 2 and 3 men supporting a woman's lifestyle. Men now are in the habit of having "sugar-mommies" to take care of their every need. What is also interesting to note is that gone seem to be the days when men were the ones playing the field. Right now, it is hard to differentiate between men and women when it comes to the "Playa" mentallity.

Bwoy ... mi nuh know if it is how I was brought up or what but somethings just are unacceptable to me, unappealing to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think for a second that I'm better than anyone for remaining faithful to my relationship but I do think that it is something to be proud of, no matter how stupid or naive it makes me look. A chic I know the other day said that no man now-a-days is being faithful, that women should just accept the fact that their man is being shared with some other woman and they should be grateful that he is not throwing/flaunting it in her face! I was appalled. Things like these bring back memories of the era in dancehall when every song centred around one title - "MATIE" .... Yeah, now ... it is getting more and more prevalent as the levels of infidelity in our society continue to increase.

For those of us who have remained faithful, more power to us! For those who haven't, there must be a good reason in your eyes for your actions, but that reason doesn't make it any more right no matter what the circumstance is. I love to see people around me feeling happy and enjoying life to the fullest. I just hate to see it being done with someone other than that person's significant other. I wish we could all get along, have wonderful happy relationships with the one we love.

There was a song (man, everyting mi talk 'bout, there's a song to go with it ... GOSH!!! I'm really a music junkie) that says, "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with".

Can we really do this? Do we have the courage or the will to do this? I wonder ....

Writer's Block

I have the urge to blog, but there's just nothing to blog about. I have decided not to write about all the negative things around me, the positives are things that I do not really want to share and then, there's writing about nothing which I don't really think I should do.

HELP!!!!

Deep Thoughts - Just For Laughs

I can't believe how depressing my blog sounded this past week! Gosh!!! That is so out of character for me ... the always smiling, always laughing .... always on the brighter side of life! Well, here are some deep thoughts and a few laughs to change all that. Not sure who to give the props to but ... Thanks to whoever sat down and thought of all this shit!


1. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

2.One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3.If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

6. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

7. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

8. If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?

9. Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

10. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

11. If a pit bull humps your leg you'd better fake an orgasm.

12. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

13. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

14. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a twat.

15. Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right.

16. The easiest way to find something that's lost is to buy a replacement.

17. How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still there?

18. Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

19. If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

20. Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.

21. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

22. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

23. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

24. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?

25. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled througH mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

26. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Deep thoughts .... VeRy VeRy DeEp.

Heights of Heartlessness ....So So Sad

After the passing of Hurricane Ivan, it has become more evident to me the despicable society in which we live. I have never before, in my life, seen such heartlessness in one place. We would all have heard about the looting and shooting that took place during the act of nature that has caused great loss to many individuals and families. Now, having lived through this devastation, one would think that people would now begin to put their lives in perspective and attempt to turn their life around for the better!

Ha! Wishful thinking! It seems that this was just the golden opportunity for them to let the darkness and coldness of their heart "shine". Reports in the local and international media spoke of incidents of looting in homes that were completely destroyed by Ivan. The pictures were astounding. There was also a report of a doctor being shot while on the way to the hospital to work.

What the hell is wrong with us? Everyday there is something else on the news, someone else has a story to tell of an unpleasant experience of selfishness to the nth degree. In a time when we would be seeking to help each other overcome and deal with this time of difficulty, we are looking out only for our own welfare, not caring about the people who are hurt, trampled on and run over in the process. I mean, a simple thing like sharing resources is completely unheard of. A DJ on my favourite radio station made mention of the fact that it is indeed hard to see your neighbour across the street with electricity and you don't. The pain, the torture of knowing that your neighbour is enjoy a glass of orange juice ... WITH ICE!!! That is enough to send someone into instant depression. He then went on to say that this is the time, albeit not the best circumstances to develop a long term relationship with the people you have been living beside or across for numerous years. Yeah, yeah, right! These neighbours would probably say, "wi nuh have enuff fi gi yu. Sorry. Maybe next time". And this is a simple act of kindness that is completely humane but seems to be a challenging task to many people in this country. No one is their brother's keeper any more.

Will we ever come out of this mentality? At times like these, I feel the urge to move away from home and try to find a more civilized environment to live in. Strange, I did not feel this when we were being battered by Ivan, or when the interest rates continued to rise, the dollar continued to devalue and the economy in a state of disarray. These things seem like a walk in the park when compared to dealing with the uncivilized behaviour of humanity.

It is sad.... sad, sad, sad. Sweden, Switzerland .... will you take me?

Relationships Part I

The old age topic of relationships is one that will continue until the end of time. It is a dynamic that everyone of us has to deal with on a daily basis. Relationships span between family, acquaintances, friends, lovers.

Every day we see relationships end in disaster, we see relationships in bliss, we relationships move in transition from a state of bliss to a state of disaster. The million dollar question asked by many people in relationships is what does it take to keep a relationship in the state of bliss? Is this even possible? Now, it is important to realize that we do not live in a utopia. There is bound to be confrontation, conflict, misunderstandings, arguments and disagreements. However, it takes great effort - TEAMWORK - to keep relationships going. I don't want to get cliche, but there are three (3) basic things I believe that will keep relationships for the most part in a state of bliss:

1. Trust
2. Respect
3. Appreciation

These are key components of a successful relationship. Once you have all these, everything else will be as easy as cheese. Out of these comes great compromise, making sacrifices for the one you love. Note, I did not say that you need Love. A popular song by Patty Smyth said "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough". I couldn't agree with her more. If you even have all the love in the world, it takes more than that to keep a relationship going, happy and fulfilling.

If only we could see, understand and feel the meaning of real love. Unconditional, selfless, complete, "not puffy" as the bible says. But, rather - meek, gentle and kind.

Today is A Sucky Day!!!

I'm just feeling in a foul mood right now. No really good reason. No, I'm not PMSing or anything. Had a wonderful weekend as well, so I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I'm at work... that could possibly be it. Lately I have just not been feeling the same level of enthusiasm I used to feel about work. I still keep my standard up for sure but it just isn't the same. I'm doing it because I have to and not because I want to or enjoy it. I do enjoy my work but feel that it is time for me to move on to an area that can challenge me a bit more. Something more in my line of interest. I am just not sure if I'll get the opportunity to really explore my creative side in this organisation.

I always say that you must motivate yourself and I have been doing a lot of that lately. I feel so pressured at times and I just hate having to tell people what to do especially when they should already know. It pisses me off big time. It's like I have to think for them and basically do their work. Maybe I should demand 10% of their salary every month to compensate for all of their work that I do. I don't know.

Maybe this is a sign that I need a change again. Whether it means to get a new job or start going back to school again .... only time will tell.

Some cheering up please ..... I'm feeling for it today! Big Time!

A Little About Me :)

1.WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Nioka
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Black
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Whirrr of the fan
4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 7611
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Chewy Granola Strawberry Yogurt
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Plum
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? HOT!!!!
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Olney
9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Lips man .... those lips
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? I like her a lot!
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Easy Like Sunday Morning
12. FAVORITE DRINK? Tropicana Tropical Fruit Punch
13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Rum Cream
14. FAVORITE SPORTS? Swimming
15. HAIR COLOR? Black
16. EYE COLOR? Brown
17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Honey when I'm feeling realllly fun!!!
18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? No siblings :(
19. FAVORITE MONTH? May
20. FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese
21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I robot
22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? May 14 (so cliche it ain't even funny)
23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Nope
24. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? Happy endings with all the tears and shit!!
25. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer.... winter? What winter??
26. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs, Kisses and a whole lot more!
27. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships!
28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate with Vanilla swirls
29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO COMMENT? For sure
30. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Hhhhhmmmmm
31. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Everyone
32. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Ok.
33. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Aaahhh ..... The Triads
34. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Durex Condoms
35. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Pictionary/Scrabble
36. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Slept
37. FAVORITE SMELLS? Vanilla scented candles
38. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? My baby ..... ain't that sweet!!!??

The "Calm" After The Storm

Well, for the most part we have made it through Hurricane Ivan, allbeit in several pieces. The island suffered much damage which I saw first hand this morning on my drive to work.

Now, during the Hurricane, the scum of the earth and scavengers of mankind sought to feed their own benefits. The looters had a ball. The residents of a place called Caribbean Terrace in Harbour View I gather, were forced out of their homes when the sea came and took away the entire structure - yes, concrete structures floated about like toy boats in a bathtub. After they were given evacuation notice, within hours there were news reports of looters, making off with the belongings of these people in a desperate situation. How Sad! Very Sad indeed! :( There were also reports of looting at major car dealerships in Kingston, furniture stores, pharmacies and supermarkets just to name a few. When will we get out of this mentality of taking advantage of an unfortunate situation? In the middle of disaster, there is war brewing down town, shooting and death - in aid of what? Only the Lord himself knows.

There are several families left homeless, most of us waterless, lightless and a few of us telephone-less. CWJ got lots of praises this time around as they were one of the first utilities to go down during Hurricane Gilbert in 1988.

All that can be heard of is loss - loss of life, loss of property, loss of revenue. 16 years after Hurricane Gilbert, there are persons who still have not yet recovered fully from its unslaught. What of them now that Ivan the Terrible has left its mark on Jamaica?

As we begin to pick up the pieces, it will take us a very long time to get back on our feet. One good thing is that water and electricity has already been restored to some areas and this is something to be commended. Although, I am not one of the fortunate few, it is still evidence that much preparation was put into this disaster. We learnt much from Gilbert.

Once again, we must give God thanks for keeping his guiding hand over our island home and keeping us save. It could have been a lot worse and we ask further for his guidance as we recover from this terrible travesty.

More time.

Ivan The Terrible

For those who have been following the Hurricanes this season will no doubt by now be aware that Hurricane Ivan is heading for Jamaica. Here is the link that shows the path of Hurricane Ivan:

http://www.weather.com/maps/news/atlstorm9/projectedpath_large.html

Now, anyone who was here during Hurricane Gilbert will remember the devastation, destruction and "destitution" that followed. By destitution, I mean - NO LIGHT, NO WATER, NO TELEPHONE! No light meant no ice, no ice cream, no ice-cold anything. At that time, a Cold Red Stripe Beer was a luxury which was had at a prime price of J$80 a bottle - almost twice the normal retail value!

Again, we are forced to prepare for the unslaught of this act of God, Force of Nature ... and of course, it is so commercial it ain't funny. All the supermarkets, wholesales, computer repairmen and anyone in the business of supplying disaster relief items, are right about now licking their fingers and watching the dollars flow and the sales increase. $$$$$ is all there are seeing before their eyes and hearing "ching ching" in their ears. It is no longer about caring for mankind, being your brother's keeper. It is all about what you can get out of a situation. Yeah, yeah, I'm all for businesses making a profit but not at the expense of people who do not have a choice. No doubt, the prices for the well needed items - batteries, candles, canned foods, etc., will increase by at least J$10 before today is out in preparation for the arrival of "Ivan the Terrible" on Friday.

When will the world stop being so commercial? Everything has now become all about how much money I can make, how much I can get out of people and how I can make myself better. Don't get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be better financially and to achieve a certain status. However, to what extent are people willing to sacrifice their soul and sanity do to this? It cannot be sweet victory knowing that you achieved well at the expense of someone else. No matter what, we should always try to do good to all around us. As is stated in my profile, All we need is love.

Disappointment

It is with great sadness that I write this blog. Is it that I have too much time on my hands or that I just think that everyone should have something to blog about???

I have been checking all the blogs I have in my favourites list - and nothing! Nothing I say! It is so sad :( ... I've been checking in vain, only to see the same thing I saw there last time I checked. What's happening with you guys? I miss reading! C'Mon .... please ... please .... blog for crying out loud!!! Damn!