Monday, September 26, 2005

40 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex, Pt. 2

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off.
If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at
all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties·

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps,
they still believe that the vagina is where at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're
trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay
more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.


15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing
massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.


16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.


17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks fist.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line
worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.


19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.


20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

Pt. 3 ... coming soon!!

2 comments:

Angry Dog said...

Yes man, I definately agree wid everything you say her CD...number 11 was definately learned the hard way tho!

Scratchie said...

Keep going ...btw the rating on this blog change yet? :D