I began my gym regimen again yesterday. If I was a quitter, I would resolve that I was not meant to lose weight since everytime I begin a program with this goal in mind something happens - 1st my car accident, then medical reasons, then Hurricane Ivan. This is my 4th attempt and I pray that nothing will happen this time to cause me to stop in the middle of my program.
I am also following my nutritional plan to a tee ... that means no more junk food for me, no more rice, no more white flour - strictly whole wheat, no more dairy, no cheese, no mayonnaise - seriously!!! This has eliminated almost every aspect of all the things I love to eat so much. But if yu waan good, yu nose haffi run. So as of yesterday, I have gone on the plan. I'm doing well so far but I just could not pass up cream cheese on my whole wheat toast today. Have I started cheating already? Cream Cheese doesn't have half the calories of regular cheese right??? Or am I just rationalizing here.
I promise to keep you all up to date on my progress as this is a journey for me and will need all the support I can get. I know I can count on you ...
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Bit By A Bug
I have been battling the draining of my sinuses since Monday. Thought I had it all under control ... only to realize on Thursday night that I may have now been afflicted with an ear infection in both ears I might add since I was having difficulty hearing. OMG!!! I'm going deaf!! I went to the doc this morning since I decided to give it a little time to wear off but it just won't go away. So I'm now burdened with the task of putting these annoying drops in my ears to clear out the build up there ... and then I'll have to go back to the doctor to have my ears syringed. I have never had this done before but he said it would not be painful especially since I'll be using the drops to disintegrate what is in there now.
So, I'm hoping that all this will be all cleared up in time for my undesirable return to work on Tuesday. Yeah, the vacation is over - well spent - but over much to my distress. I am also returning to work with added responsibilities of managing the domain for a while. I am looking forward to the experience and am happy to add another accomplishment at my company that I can add to my profile ... development is wonderful!!
There are still a few hours left in the weekend so enjoy to the fullest!
So, I'm hoping that all this will be all cleared up in time for my undesirable return to work on Tuesday. Yeah, the vacation is over - well spent - but over much to my distress. I am also returning to work with added responsibilities of managing the domain for a while. I am looking forward to the experience and am happy to add another accomplishment at my company that I can add to my profile ... development is wonderful!!
There are still a few hours left in the weekend so enjoy to the fullest!
Friday, March 11, 2005
Caring
Care: watchful or protective attention, caution, concern, prudence, or regard usually towards an action or situation
I found this definition aptly appropriate. When you care for someone, what does this mean? I think I am a very caring person. Sometimes, I think I care too much. I just hate to see people in need or hurting and not have this inate desire to help. Things and times have changed so much. In times gone by, everyone looked out for everyone. People who lived in a community all knew each other and lent a helping hand whenever they could. People were not as selfish as they are now. It is so bad that people now-a-days seem to turn a blind eye to persons in need. I think I read in the paper a few weeks ago about a young lady who was being attacked on Barbican Road and persons in their car and pedestrians, just continued on their way without rendering some assistance to her. The victim was quite upset and proceeded to chastise these persons seeing her being attacked and doing nothing about it. She then stated that people's response was that they thought it was a domestic matter - her and her partner/lover having a quarrel on the street - and as such didn't get involved. Now, it is always said that "cockroach nuh business inna foul fight" ... and times are so serious now that you could end up being a victim of injury or dead in an effort to help. Does this mean that we will continue to be our own keeper, not concerning ourselves with our brothers and sisters?
Maybe, I need a wake up call or something but I just don't think that this kind of behaviour is right. I guess I can talk as I've never been in a situation such as the young lady I mentioned above to provide assistance in that manner, and who knows, probably I would turn my eye the other way too, at least after looking on to see if I could help.
We have truly become a selfish nation ... sad but true. Is there hope for us?
I found this definition aptly appropriate. When you care for someone, what does this mean? I think I am a very caring person. Sometimes, I think I care too much. I just hate to see people in need or hurting and not have this inate desire to help. Things and times have changed so much. In times gone by, everyone looked out for everyone. People who lived in a community all knew each other and lent a helping hand whenever they could. People were not as selfish as they are now. It is so bad that people now-a-days seem to turn a blind eye to persons in need. I think I read in the paper a few weeks ago about a young lady who was being attacked on Barbican Road and persons in their car and pedestrians, just continued on their way without rendering some assistance to her. The victim was quite upset and proceeded to chastise these persons seeing her being attacked and doing nothing about it. She then stated that people's response was that they thought it was a domestic matter - her and her partner/lover having a quarrel on the street - and as such didn't get involved. Now, it is always said that "cockroach nuh business inna foul fight" ... and times are so serious now that you could end up being a victim of injury or dead in an effort to help. Does this mean that we will continue to be our own keeper, not concerning ourselves with our brothers and sisters?
Maybe, I need a wake up call or something but I just don't think that this kind of behaviour is right. I guess I can talk as I've never been in a situation such as the young lady I mentioned above to provide assistance in that manner, and who knows, probably I would turn my eye the other way too, at least after looking on to see if I could help.
We have truly become a selfish nation ... sad but true. Is there hope for us?
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Other Woman
Once, many moons ago, I was involved with a married mad. We met purely by chance. He called my office one day to get some information about a case he was working on. This one call let to several others doing investigation on this particular case until he said that he thinks he needs to get some more 411 from me and proceeded to ask for my phone number at home. I found him to be "interesting" so I gave it to him. And thus began our affair. We talked on the phone for about a month before we decided it was time to meet face to face. This was arranged and we met to have a drink. Needless to say I wasn't disappointed and neither was he. We continued to correspond with each other on the telephone, going out on an occasional date, to watch a movie, or a play or go to a club or whatever we felt we wanted to do. He was a very mature individual being 33 at the time and we spoke about various topics from politics, to religion to economics (which was his area of expertise), to relationships, to sex ... our conversations were endless, late in the night, early in the morning, during the day at work, when he picked me up from work, when I went to meet him at his office - we did a lot of talking and I loved that. Someone who challenged my in a different way and in some way forced me to read more so that I could converse with him on any topic.
As the time passed, we became intimate ... and we loved it! He was having problems in his marriage which (coincidentally) stemmed from his infidelity in the past. A very complicated individual he was. He had a child prior to his marriage, as did his wife, he and his wife had a child together and he had another child outside his marriage, this child being pretty much the same age as the child he had with his wife! What had I gotten myself into??????
Anyway, I kept telling myself that I would not get sucked into his life and that I would not allow myself to get too close to him for comfort. Easier said than done. Although we spent a lot of time together, you can understand that there were always restrictions to our "relationship". I couldn't call him whenever I felt the need to hear his voice, or to have phone sex in the middle of the night or go out on a date with him when he and the wife had to be somewhere with the children. RESTRICTIONS!! Any relationship with restrictions of any sort in my eyes is no relationship at all. When you are with someone, everything should be open, unhibited, free.
Because I knew that he wasn't really mine, I didn't make any demands of him - not his time, not his money, not his affection, not sex. If he said he couldn't pick me up from work, or couldn't see me on a particular evening, I was very understanding as I knew I was always second whether I liked it or not.
Eventually, I started to "wise up" and began to drift away from him. I didn't call him as often, didn't see him as often and we ended up having a big fight which was the beginning of the end of our blissful encounter. It eventually ended with him migrating with his family (a last minute decision). Even at this point, I was the one who made many a trip with him to his mother in the country, helped him to pack up the last of their belongings, cleaned out the house he and his wife lived in, dismantled the bed he and his wife slept in, made love in.
In talking to him since his departure more than 5 years ago, he has maintained that he never had a relationship such as the one he had with me. He viewed our connection as unique, complete, one that he says even his wife mentions to him from time to time - "the time when he was just so preoccupied". He still talks to me now about the challenges in his marriage and told me that if I had just demanded more from him, he knew that he would have left his wife and family to be with me as I gave him more satisfaction in every aspect of his life (not just sexually). I saw things differently thinking that I had no right to demand anything from someone who was not rightfully mine. I guess I will never know if he really meant this, although I think he did.
You live and learn from your experiences in life and know that I will never go down this road again. It is a lose-lose situation that will only cause pain and hurt for anyone who choses to live the life of another woman.
This post was inspired by "Diary of an Affair" and I pray that she will get hit by a brick of wisdom and reach for a bigger, brighter star and find a man she will love and call her very own.
As the time passed, we became intimate ... and we loved it! He was having problems in his marriage which (coincidentally) stemmed from his infidelity in the past. A very complicated individual he was. He had a child prior to his marriage, as did his wife, he and his wife had a child together and he had another child outside his marriage, this child being pretty much the same age as the child he had with his wife! What had I gotten myself into??????
Anyway, I kept telling myself that I would not get sucked into his life and that I would not allow myself to get too close to him for comfort. Easier said than done. Although we spent a lot of time together, you can understand that there were always restrictions to our "relationship". I couldn't call him whenever I felt the need to hear his voice, or to have phone sex in the middle of the night or go out on a date with him when he and the wife had to be somewhere with the children. RESTRICTIONS!! Any relationship with restrictions of any sort in my eyes is no relationship at all. When you are with someone, everything should be open, unhibited, free.
Because I knew that he wasn't really mine, I didn't make any demands of him - not his time, not his money, not his affection, not sex. If he said he couldn't pick me up from work, or couldn't see me on a particular evening, I was very understanding as I knew I was always second whether I liked it or not.
Eventually, I started to "wise up" and began to drift away from him. I didn't call him as often, didn't see him as often and we ended up having a big fight which was the beginning of the end of our blissful encounter. It eventually ended with him migrating with his family (a last minute decision). Even at this point, I was the one who made many a trip with him to his mother in the country, helped him to pack up the last of their belongings, cleaned out the house he and his wife lived in, dismantled the bed he and his wife slept in, made love in.
In talking to him since his departure more than 5 years ago, he has maintained that he never had a relationship such as the one he had with me. He viewed our connection as unique, complete, one that he says even his wife mentions to him from time to time - "the time when he was just so preoccupied". He still talks to me now about the challenges in his marriage and told me that if I had just demanded more from him, he knew that he would have left his wife and family to be with me as I gave him more satisfaction in every aspect of his life (not just sexually). I saw things differently thinking that I had no right to demand anything from someone who was not rightfully mine. I guess I will never know if he really meant this, although I think he did.
You live and learn from your experiences in life and know that I will never go down this road again. It is a lose-lose situation that will only cause pain and hurt for anyone who choses to live the life of another woman.
This post was inspired by "Diary of an Affair" and I pray that she will get hit by a brick of wisdom and reach for a bigger, brighter star and find a man she will love and call her very own.
I'm Back
Well, I'm back. Have been since Sunday but was afflicted with the flu bug which totally knocked me off my feet. I had a wonderful weekend! I got a lot of much needed relaxation, even more loving and I am pleased. My plans went well and were appreciated by my significant other ... so all in all ... it went according to plan. Hhhhmmm ...
Just to let y'all know that I'm still on the face of the earth and counting down the final days of my vacation .... man ... I could get used to this life. It did get nerve-racking at times with nothing to do but for the most part, I think I could get used to living a life of pure, casual, enjoyment! Getting up whenever I want, doing whatever I want, whenever I want as fast or as slow as I want ... nothing better than being in control of your life!!! Oh well ... I will just have to settle with continuning to do the work of my employer and hope that one day soon I'll be able to be my own boss at which time I can set my own pace.
More later.
PS. Somehow I'm not surprised that everyone wants to hear about my weekend. Some things I view as sacred and extremely personal that I wouldn't share ... these include times shared with my boo. Sorry to disappoint those so eager to hear of my love tryst ... I'm sure you can come up with something else ... !!!
Just to let y'all know that I'm still on the face of the earth and counting down the final days of my vacation .... man ... I could get used to this life. It did get nerve-racking at times with nothing to do but for the most part, I think I could get used to living a life of pure, casual, enjoyment! Getting up whenever I want, doing whatever I want, whenever I want as fast or as slow as I want ... nothing better than being in control of your life!!! Oh well ... I will just have to settle with continuning to do the work of my employer and hope that one day soon I'll be able to be my own boss at which time I can set my own pace.
More later.
PS. Somehow I'm not surprised that everyone wants to hear about my weekend. Some things I view as sacred and extremely personal that I wouldn't share ... these include times shared with my boo. Sorry to disappoint those so eager to hear of my love tryst ... I'm sure you can come up with something else ... !!!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Whoa
Well, this vacation turned out to be busier than I thought, with my father's car in the shop, I am reduced to the insignificant job of "Chauffeur" for 2 days. I don't mind though because before I had my own ride, my dad's car was pretty much mine until he got a life!!!
Anyhow, just a quick note to say hi. Lots been going on but too much and a little bit too personal to blog about right now. I guess one day I'll get it all off my chest.
I however plan to have a wonderfully erotic and special weekend so I'll catch y'all next week!
Here's something fun for you to think about until my return:
Is there anything specific that you would like me to write about? Any burning questions you would like to ask? Anything at all??? Post them in your comments or email them to me ... I am anxious to see who will take this bait :)
Here fishie fishie fishie ...
Anyhow, just a quick note to say hi. Lots been going on but too much and a little bit too personal to blog about right now. I guess one day I'll get it all off my chest.
I however plan to have a wonderfully erotic and special weekend so I'll catch y'all next week!
Here's something fun for you to think about until my return:
Is there anything specific that you would like me to write about? Any burning questions you would like to ask? Anything at all??? Post them in your comments or email them to me ... I am anxious to see who will take this bait :)
Here fishie fishie fishie ...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Fun Stuff
It's full time I stop stealing things from blogs but some of the things I come across are just so fun!! Thanks Amanda for this little tidbit!!
Choose a musical artist/band and answer only in their song titles: MADONNA
Are you male or female? CANDY PERFUME GIRL
Describe yourself: AMAZING
How do some people feel about you? RAY OF LIGHT
How do you feel about yourself? LUCKY STAR
Describe your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband: BYE BYE BABY
Describe your current boyfriend/husband: INSIDE OF ME/CRAZY FOR YOU
Describe what you want to be: DEEPER AND DEEPER
Describe your current mood: HOLIDAY
Describe your friends: VOGUE
Share a few words of wisdom: LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
Choose a musical artist/band and answer only in their song titles: MADONNA
Are you male or female? CANDY PERFUME GIRL
Describe yourself: AMAZING
How do some people feel about you? RAY OF LIGHT
How do you feel about yourself? LUCKY STAR
Describe your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband: BYE BYE BABY
Describe your current boyfriend/husband: INSIDE OF ME/CRAZY FOR YOU
Describe what you want to be: DEEPER AND DEEPER
Describe your current mood: HOLIDAY
Describe your friends: VOGUE
Share a few words of wisdom: LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
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