Hello my faithful blog mates. I've been M.I.A. for a little while due to the many stresses in life, inflation, Hurricane Katrina & Rita (yeah, I'm jumping on the band wagon) ... but here I am again to stir your interests, peak your curiosities and get some of you annoyed as hell at me!
I got this email today, "40 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex" ... with a note saying "Only 40 guys, we're steadily improving!" ... sad ain't it?? Nonetheless, I'll be sharing 10 of these interesting little tidbits for the next 4 days or so for your laughing or crying pleasure. Enjoy!
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. ·
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't
stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole
breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
Stay tuned for Pt. 2!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
Saturday, September 10, 2005
This is how my piggy bank looks after putting 1/2 tank of gas in my car! Tragic ain't it??
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Friday, September 09, 2005
Monday, September 05, 2005
Rising Stars
I don’t know if you have been following Digicel’s Rising Stars competition. If you haven’t, you have been missing a exceptional display of talent! It is down to the final 4 and it is a stiff competition. This year’s rising stars finalists are of a high caliber. It is anybody’s race at this point.
For my international readers, Rising Stars is the Jamaican version of your American Idol. We have it all down to the Simon wanna be!
I’m rooting for Christopher Martin! The boy has talent and I think he has what it takes to make it in the music industry in Jamaica. Not sure about his ability to propel to the international scene but we’ll just have to wait and see.
I think I’ll enter next year! Have a good one y'all.
For my international readers, Rising Stars is the Jamaican version of your American Idol. We have it all down to the Simon wanna be!
I’m rooting for Christopher Martin! The boy has talent and I think he has what it takes to make it in the music industry in Jamaica. Not sure about his ability to propel to the international scene but we’ll just have to wait and see.
I think I’ll enter next year! Have a good one y'all.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Da Real Man
I had a conversation with a guy yesterday and it got me thinking about just how some men are. This post may yank some chains and if it offends anyone who may not share my views, get over it!
The guy was basically saying that his father warned him about women who want to act as though they wear the pants in the relationship, like she’s the man. Now, he was not able to back up or justify his point by explaining just what his father meant. I could only assume that he himself was still trying to understand what he meant. However, he went on to say that some women don’t allow a man to be a man. Now, I will not disagree but I asked him if he stopped to think why this could be so. There are a few of men out there who don’t deserve to be called men. They act worse than a 4 year old who just got a bowl of ice cream with M & Ms on top with Hershey Chocolate Syrup!! There are so many women who are playing the role of man and woman in a household, in a family. I have friends who do everything in their relationship … including what would be considered a man’s job. Why? Why? I just can’t understand.
Some women may think that I’m not for femininity, women’s lib and independence. We all know that there is nothing that a man can do that a woman can’t. We may not be better at it but if need be, we won’t be left out in the cold just because we don’t have a man. Now, this is a concern to men. Now-a-days, you hardly find men doing simple things like holding the door for a woman. Some men say women no longer appreciate that kind of stuff and this might be true.
I am all for making a man feel like a man. Nothing is worse when a man feels like he’s being short-changed, disrespected or put down … especially by the fairer sex. I remember once I had to put a man in his place in front of one of his boys just to prove a point. He was an asshole anyway and was acting like he was “da man” just because his friends were around. A real man does not need to front to prove his masculinity. The level of maturity a man displays, the level of responsibility he accepts, the way he interacts with his mate/partner/wife/boo and with his peers is what will corroborate his masculinity and manhood. If you are a real man, everyone will know it and respect it.
The guy was basically saying that his father warned him about women who want to act as though they wear the pants in the relationship, like she’s the man. Now, he was not able to back up or justify his point by explaining just what his father meant. I could only assume that he himself was still trying to understand what he meant. However, he went on to say that some women don’t allow a man to be a man. Now, I will not disagree but I asked him if he stopped to think why this could be so. There are a few of men out there who don’t deserve to be called men. They act worse than a 4 year old who just got a bowl of ice cream with M & Ms on top with Hershey Chocolate Syrup!! There are so many women who are playing the role of man and woman in a household, in a family. I have friends who do everything in their relationship … including what would be considered a man’s job. Why? Why? I just can’t understand.
Some women may think that I’m not for femininity, women’s lib and independence. We all know that there is nothing that a man can do that a woman can’t. We may not be better at it but if need be, we won’t be left out in the cold just because we don’t have a man. Now, this is a concern to men. Now-a-days, you hardly find men doing simple things like holding the door for a woman. Some men say women no longer appreciate that kind of stuff and this might be true.
I am all for making a man feel like a man. Nothing is worse when a man feels like he’s being short-changed, disrespected or put down … especially by the fairer sex. I remember once I had to put a man in his place in front of one of his boys just to prove a point. He was an asshole anyway and was acting like he was “da man” just because his friends were around. A real man does not need to front to prove his masculinity. The level of maturity a man displays, the level of responsibility he accepts, the way he interacts with his mate/partner/wife/boo and with his peers is what will corroborate his masculinity and manhood. If you are a real man, everyone will know it and respect it.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know
I just love to taunt sometimes. Trouble, sure you'll agree with a few of these!
Enjoy everyone ... It's almost Friday!!!
30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know ... ok ... maybe 31!
1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with
you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that
time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache,
beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong.
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if
you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees,
or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we
can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't
have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice
if you did the same every once in a while. We like to knowthat you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans
sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what
you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just
mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we
believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better
anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it
up when you're done.
26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.....
and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your
friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it
down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.
31. Boys are NOT stupid so DON'T throw rocks at us.
Enjoy everyone ... It's almost Friday!!!
30 Things Guys Want Girls To Know ... ok ... maybe 31!
1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with
you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that
time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache,
beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong.
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if
you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees,
or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we
can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't
have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice
if you did the same every once in a while. We like to knowthat you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans
sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what
you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just
mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we
believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better
anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it
up when you're done.
26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.....
and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your
friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it
down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.
31. Boys are NOT stupid so DON'T throw rocks at us.
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