R.I.P.

February 21, 2005 - March 13, 2005

Cool Destiny's Vacation

Remembering a Wonderful time

So precious were the moments shared

The happiness you brought will be fondly remembered

Vacation, you are sadly missed by CD and the BF

May You Rest In Peace until we meet again ...

On the other side ... :'(

A Mother's Love Pt. III

My father came to me yesterday and said my mother said some stuff to him yesterday and he can't understand. My boyfriend was there with me at the time and the 3 of us were talking again about the situation between myself and her. They both asked ... begged ... implored me to talk to her. Because these are the 2 most important people in my life, I reluctantly agreed to at least make an attempt to hear what she has to say. I told them that I'm through talking and that I'm initiating this communication purely to hear what she has to say. They said, no I should talk and listen as well. I said OK.

So, in the evening daddy left and we were here alone and I approached her and proceeded to talk, asking her about what daddy said this morning. It turned out to be very emotional and I spoke freely (yeah yeah, I ended up talking too) about my feelings and although she wanted me to get into details and listing of all the things I talked about in a general sense, I told her that I wasn't going to rehash the past. I spoke of 2 incidents, 1 of which she brought up but claimed she didn't remember the whole story about (don't worry, I reminded her which of course she denied but there was no denying it) and another which was sort of the last straw in the huge pile of straws I have dealt with in the past. She actually apologized to me, we cried, and we ended on the note that now that the air is somewhat clear, we will see how things go from here on.

We have had an amazing, incredible, mind boggling, chart topping 2 conversations today!!! That's a big step from 0.

Let's see how this progresses. Thanks to all for your support on this issue. I guess there is still hope yet.

Is It A Sign?

I went to the gym this morning and right in the middle of my cardio work out on the treadmill ... THE BOTTOM OF MY SNEAKER FELL OFF!!!

Is it a sign?

I don't give a f * * k if it's a sign. I'm going to buy a new pair of sneakers tomorrow!!! Nothing stopping me now!!

A Few Good Men et al

I checked my profile today and realized that for some strange, odd reason, A Few Good Men was not listed as one of my favourite movies ... I can not explain how this travesty took place. I did say there were too many to name them all but I absolutely love that movie. No, no, no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Tom Cruise is in it but because of the events that took place in the court room. I love court scenes. I am particularly fascinated by the laws that seem to govern people in the service. It's like they have their own justice system, which by any extension of the imagination, seems to be more intimidating and far more strict that those imposed on civilians (maybe not so much for us in Jamaica since our justice system leaves much to be desired ... one can only dream).

One thing that always grabs me about this movie is the "politics" that form the part of every organization. Whether we want to believe it or not, there is some level of "politics" even in our family - the way situations are handled, the way things are said, there is always some diplomacy or politically correct way to deal with things. I think that for this reason alone, I have no hunger to seeek positions of power because with great power, comes great politics. Oh, I would love to be the CEO or Managing Director of a company but would love if it didn't come with the accepted pre-determined behaviours. It's like because you are a "big manager" or hold some "big position" at a company, you are not expected to display certain behaviours. There was a manager at my company, a very big manager not based here. But if you saw him outside of work, you would think he was a common criminal or some blue collar worker. He just looked normal and people used to frown on it saying that he's not portraying the image of a manager. It's almost like you are forced to give up your identity just because of the position you hold in society.

Mi caan deal wid dat. I must be able to wear my jeans and flip flops with a bandana tied on my head if that is how I feel comfortable outside of work regardless of my position. Am I not getting it? Am I wrong for thinking like this?

Naughty, Naughty, Naughty ... but Funny, Funny, Funny 

Battle (Round 1)

I began my gym regimen again yesterday. If I was a quitter, I would resolve that I was not meant to lose weight since everytime I begin a program with this goal in mind something happens - 1st my car accident, then medical reasons, then Hurricane Ivan. This is my 4th attempt and I pray that nothing will happen this time to cause me to stop in the middle of my program.

I am also following my nutritional plan to a tee ... that means no more junk food for me, no more rice, no more white flour - strictly whole wheat, no more dairy, no cheese, no mayonnaise - seriously!!! This has eliminated almost every aspect of all the things I love to eat so much. But if yu waan good, yu nose haffi run. So as of yesterday, I have gone on the plan. I'm doing well so far but I just could not pass up cream cheese on my whole wheat toast today. Have I started cheating already? Cream Cheese doesn't have half the calories of regular cheese right??? Or am I just rationalizing here.

I promise to keep you all up to date on my progress as this is a journey for me and will need all the support I can get. I know I can count on you ...

Bit By A Bug

I have been battling the draining of my sinuses since Monday. Thought I had it all under control ... only to realize on Thursday night that I may have now been afflicted with an ear infection in both ears I might add since I was having difficulty hearing. OMG!!! I'm going deaf!! I went to the doc this morning since I decided to give it a little time to wear off but it just won't go away. So I'm now burdened with the task of putting these annoying drops in my ears to clear out the build up there ... and then I'll have to go back to the doctor to have my ears syringed. I have never had this done before but he said it would not be painful especially since I'll be using the drops to disintegrate what is in there now.

So, I'm hoping that all this will be all cleared up in time for my undesirable return to work on Tuesday. Yeah, the vacation is over - well spent - but over much to my distress. I am also returning to work with added responsibilities of managing the domain for a while. I am looking forward to the experience and am happy to add another accomplishment at my company that I can add to my profile ... development is wonderful!!

There are still a few hours left in the weekend so enjoy to the fullest!